


Remember me as I was on Taris.

by Casta_X



Category: Star Wars Legends: Knights of the Old Republic (Video Games)
Genre: Betrayal, F/M, Smut, The Dark Side of the Force (Star Wars), Unhappy Ending
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-26
Updated: 2021-02-26
Packaged: 2021-03-17 14:48:26
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 9,538
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29718825
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Casta_X/pseuds/Casta_X
Summary: Revan isn’t fickle, she’s just acting for the greater good.Carth will have none of it, at least, not until it’s too late.Canderous is all too willing to let Revan take that out on him.
Relationships: Canderous Ordo/Female Revan, Carth Onasi/Female Revan
Kudos: 4





	Remember me as I was on Taris.

**Author's Note:**

> One shot. Whirlwind tour of KOTOR go to whoa, (or is that woe with a dark side female,) with some shamless smut thrown in.  
> I probably won't do smut again for a very long time, if at all.

It started with honest intentions.

In the weeks Irinez spent on Taris with ‘the most handsome pilot in the galaxy’ they worked together towards finding Bastila whilst achieving as much good as possible for as many others as possible along the way.

It was expensive, doing good.

She turned down rewards, gave away her funds and supplies. It was difficult to do. Harder, even with Carth’s constant reminders that those were resources they would likely need. Some evenings she would claw the money back, literally, fighting in the Taris duel rings. ‘Mysterious Stranger’ indeed. Nothing mysterious about Ensign Irinez L’hnnar. Just a soldier trying to find a Jedi while evading the Sith. She was a nobody. Her name meant nothing. Well, next to nothing.

Carth had warned that the Sith might have had time to acquire crew rosters prior to the Endar Spire exploding (with an excellent sense of dramatic timing – right as their escape pod launched, the force of it all knocking her unconscious before they even hit atmosphere). So maybe ‘Irinez L’hnnar’ meant slightly more than nothing, (maybe,) but only on Taris. Carth Onasi and Bastila Shan were names that meant a lot, to a lot of people, in a lot of places. It might be nice… except if you were stuck behind enemy lines, where it could mean capture, torture and death.

Carth had warned of a lot of other things, including that Irinez would be best served by not trusting anyone, not him, not even herself. Odd then, that he didn’t just abandon her in the escape pod to be captured by the Sith. Surely he had some modicum of trust for her? And there’s no way he could call himself untrustworthy after saving her life like that. She’d repaid him a few times, in the life saving department, during the many scuffles with lawless swoop gangs in the Lower City, but that could very easily be chalked up to self-preservation if one had to find an ulterior motive. If anything, dragging an unconscious body through the Upper City is more likely to bring you the wrong sort of attention, Carth.

When the last of the Black Vulkars fell in the skirmish after the Season Opener Irinez dropped to the floor for a few seconds. A brief vision appeared in her mind – she’d seen this one before, several times in fact over the recent months, Bastila fighting Dark Jedi, only this time the vision continued. “You cannot win, Revan!” echoing through her thoughts as her mind returned to the present.

When she approached the Padawan about it later she was dismissed with a half-arsed simplification. “When we first met, your natural talent may have fed off my own Force abilities. It is possible that in the excitement of the battle's aftermath the Force allowed you to witness one of my more intense memories.” Okay. Maybe Carth was right with the whole ‘don’t trust anyone’ approach.

That vision definitely wasn’t from Bastila’s point of view.

When a Mandalorian offered a way to get off the planet, stealing a fast ship from a crime lord, the problem hadn’t been with the morality of the theft, but how in the Hells they were going to pay for the droid required from Janice Nall.

Having won too many scraps in the duel ring there was no-one left willing to face her. Well, almost no-one. When the opportunity presented itself to be paid by two different Hutts to kill the one man? She jumped at it.

They escaped the bombardment and fled to Dantooine. She was paraded before the Council. Promises were made. Carth expressed his inability to trust again, but it wasn’t solely levelled at his fellow soldier this time. Another vision.

A hand waving over a door. Looking over a shoulder to see none other than Darth Malak suggesting caution at her actions. A room, an artefact…

Bastila scurried out of the ship before the matter could be discussed, that schutta.

Paraded before the Council again. More promises. Even more training. Lessons learned quickly. Suspiciously quickly. Irinez was sent to cleanse a grove.

She was interrupted by Kath Hounds. Interrupted by Mandalorians. Interrupted by a murder investigation. Carth was unusually supportive “You did good. You might just make a proper Jedi yet, who knows?” Or was it just that he’d warmed up to her after all of those weeks on Taris?

The taint in the grove as it turned out, was a Dark Jedi. It was a difficult fight. Who sends an apprentice on a suicide mission against a Dark Jedi, even with back up? Back up, it might be added, that was no help – shots fired by her motley crew of Republic Soldier, Mandalorian, Wookie and Twi’lek were deflected back at them. It didn’t take long for them to realise it was less danger to simply sit down and watch the two Force users duke it out.

There was a brief pause in the battle where the Dark Jedi hissed at Irinez. “What is it that you want? Why do you bother me?”

“I was sent by the Council to cleanse the taint from this grove.”

“The Council has sent you here to kill me?!”

“I suppose there is no hope. I must kill you then.” In Irinez’s defence, it hadn’t been her idea to kill the woman in the first place.

The other Jedi were pissed. So much for “There is no emotion.” They were not swayed by protests (made out of earshot of her gunners) that this ‘Juhani’ did not give her a chance.

Belaya was the most pissed of all, directing most of ire towards the Council. If she wasn’t pissed at Irinez too she might have had some empathy for what she just went through. But there was none, only threats. “I should kill you for what you’ve done!”

Stellar commencement to a Jedi career.

They investigated the Matale disappearance. That went better. Peaceful even, at its conclusion.

They investigated the strange ruins to the west. That went… well, strange.

Although Carth felt it was “quite the supposition” that travelling to each of the worlds shown on the Star Map would provide them with enough information to find the Star Forge and stop Malak, the Council sided with Bastila. Carth made no effort to hide his flare of mistrust.

“Stay.” Irinez pleaded

“Huh?”

“Stay with us, please. We need you. I need you.”

“I know that. Someone has to fly the ship. Why you, and the rest of the people we met on Taris, are coming along is what confuses me.”

“The Council felt we all had unique talents to contribute. Are you saying I’m not needed?”

“No, I don't… I didn't mean that you weren't wanted, it's just… damn it!” He left the cockpit mumbling about how he didn’t like being left out of the loop. Maybe he hadn’t warmed up to her after all.

In Anchorhead a beggar approached. Husband killed by Gammoreans. She wasn’t out for revenge, just credits, but she wasn’t the only one. Irinez thought about her group – two Jedi, 4 soldiers with blasters (not worth dealing with a hissy fit from Mission by implying she’s any less capable than the adults she surrounded herself with) – and swore she wouldn’t let them get stuck again the way they were nearly caught on Taris. She split the credits with the woman “Take half and stay health, understand?”

The response from the group was mixed, but Carth’s stood out most of all. Almost a complete 180 degree turn from his cautious selfishness on Taris. It was hard to get a read on him – just a few minutes ago he was standing up for Irinez (unasked, unnecessary, but appreciated nonetheless) in front of some Gamorreans, and now he was berating her in front of the team. Maybe the critical nature of the mission was lost on him and he wasn’t afraid enough of failure.

Around a few more corners they were accosted by 3 Dark Jedi. Those with guns, recalling the fight on Dantooine, lowered them and let the Jedi deal with it. It wasn’t a fair fight, 2 against 3, not when Bastila was an excellent student and Irinez was… unusually capable… for someone who’d only recently started their training. (Perhaps she hadn’t .)

The Dark Jedi had carried a datapad with the descriptions of Bastila Shan, and of Carth Onasi. There was a description of Irinez without an accompanying name. ‘Irinez L’hnnar’ meant nothing to anybody again, maybe not even to Irinez herself. Mission, Zaalbar and Canderous felt indifferent to the fact that their names meant nothing either. Bastila and Carth tensed up a bit. Good.

Bastila dragged them all to the cantina to find her mother as advised by the Twi’lek in the port and the Duros in the street. She demonstrated expertly why Jedi were not allowed attachments - they cause emotions. Irinez didn’t care.

At the gates they discovered three things. The Jawas know where the Star Map is. The hunting license they got (in exchange for a promise Irinez didn’t intend to keep – to move the Sand People on) in order to ‘help’ the beggar from earlier was necessary to leave the Anchorhead reach the Star Map. (“A good deed is it’s own reward, but in this case it has proven even moreso”. Yeah, thanks for the sermon, Bastila.) The goals of the Jawas were in line with Czerka’s – kill the Sand People. (Or, at least, free the Jawa slaves, but how else was that going to be accomplished?)

Another pair of hands with a rifle joined their crew, this time belonging to a droid who spoke the Sand People dialect, necessary if they were going to trick the tribe into letting them past their stolen turrets. Irinez knew she’d like him from their first conversation. He wouldn’t let compassion in minor matters get in the way of achieving the greater good.

In the Eastern Dune Sea Komad Fortuna was goaded into attacking so that Irinez could get her hands on another dragon pearl. It might be useful in a lightsaber. It might be useful being traded for credits to buy other equipment. Either way, the galaxy needed her to have it more than it needed a hunter who doesn’t keep track of the passing years, despite the protests of the rest of the team.

Calo Nord arrived as Irinez suspected he might. He didn’t bring enough backup.

Bastila, ever the paragon of virtue, could not be persuaded after giving her Mother holocron of her Father, to not give this dying woman any money, even though Bastila was never going to see her again either way. Such a waste. Irinez voiced support for Bastila’s decision that she didn’t feel.

Carth and Bastila’s morality was getting in the way. Irinez convinced them to stay on the ship when they arrived on Kashyyyk. “Yeah, I know all three of us were given descriptions on this datapad, but only the two of you were named. Anyone could find you in Republic records and have not just a description but a picture. It’s too dangerous. This assignment from the Council is more important than anything!”

Bastila huffed out of the cockpit.

Carth apologised, admitting that he feels useless with a blaster against Dark Jedi, useless against any threat, really, compared to the efficient dispatching by the party Jedi. He apologised again, that all he really wants is to hunt down Saul Karath, but the mission is more important. Irinez tried to make him stop apologising, kidding (not kidding) that if he would just give her a little kiss, she would accept the apology. No kiss. But he was “glad things are better between us.”

She was glad he decided to stay onboard. “I need you to stay safe, who will pilot the ship if you get hurt? I couldn’t bear to see it!” What really she couldn’t bear was to hear any further objections from him regarding how she chose to manage their finite resources. If he was going to change his feelings on the matter just as she was changing hers then she’d rather he remember her as she was on Taris.

Irinez lead her group, now just 1 Jedi and 4 gunners, to the chieftain to have access to the forest floor. He took Zaalbar hostage. Chundaar was saving Wookie lives by jumping into bed with slavers. It was a creative solution; Irinez could respect that. She hoped Zaalbar would too. She was down to only 3 gunners though. Not ideal.

The camp fire died down on their third night in the upper shadowlands. Irinez and Mission turned early into sleep. HK-47 on duty overnight as he was every night, watching over their peaceful slumber. Nothing would touch his master. Canderous, not yet ready to turn in to sleep, turned to cleaning the equipment instead. Before long an arm snaked up from behind him over the chest plate of his armour.

“Hey.”

“I thought you were asleep.” He hissed quietly, glancing to ensure he hadn’t woken the young Twi’lek.

“Oh don’t worry about her. I used the Force to send her into a deep sleep, she won’t be disturbed by us.”

“The droid?”

“Is a droid, he won’t care.”

“What is it that you want, then? Why are you touching me? You like what you see?” he smirked.

“Indeed.” Irinez lightly traced a finger over the shoulder pads of Davik’s former armour.

“I have a wife, you know.”

Irinez didn’t know. “I have a wife, too.”

“You? Have a wife?”

“The way Bastila’s been constantly nagging me since Taris, she might as well be.”

“Ha! Very funny. My wife’s name isn’t Carth, if you’re wondering given the way he nags at me. Her name is Veela.”

“What happened to her?”

“Nothing happened, I just… left her behind when I went into exile.”

“So you’ve been celibate for what… 2 years?”

“Pretty much.”

“And in all that time you’ve not even self-pleasured? Once?”

“That’s different.”

“Because there’s no emotion involved? Well I guess you’re in luck Canderous because Jedi don’t do ‘emotions’.”

“You’re telling me there’s no emotions going on between you and that overbearing pilot?”

“Well…”

“Huh, like I suspected. So what in the Hells are you doing attempting to seduce me?”

“Look, he rebuffed my advances. I’m getting agitated here! There’s four of us on the forest floor, and only one Jedi, you really want to leave me distracted by my lack of attention?” Irinez watched the warrior’s gaze narrow as he took her words seriously. “You don’t have to think of it as betraying your wife. Don’t get an emotional attachment to me, I won’t to you. Think of me as a fancier version of your own hand, so that you’re less tempted to go running off with some other harlot.”

“I would never!” Canderous growled in response, but he relaxed his shoulders and rubbed his chin thoughtfully, he didn't want to deny his passion, and Irinez was as good looking as the next woman. “But you’ve convinced me, here on forest floor of all places.”

“Good.”

Irinez immediately used the Force to pin him to the trunk of a large tree. She wasted no time in peeling off his armour piece by piece, like a spider desperate for the meal trapped in its web. By the time he was stripped of his underlayer Canderous looked unimpressed. Irinez tried to rectify that with the Force sending subtle sensations of touch up the inside of his legs, stopping just short of his groin. There was a slight twitch in his penis. Spurred on by this she tried again. No reaction. Dissapointing.

“The Force is a poor substitute for my own hand, it seems. I am a Mandalorian after all. This is a battle. Let me down from here, I’ll show you how it’s done.”

She acquiesced.

“Fight me.” He growled.

“I should probably fight you on even ground - naked. I’d hate to have to explain to Mission in the morning how my clothes got ripped.” Irinez smirked in response.

Clothes neatly folded, and bedding placed side by side in a makeshift sparring mat, she lunged at him. They wrestled. She bested him.

“Kneel, Canderous.”

He did. “You only won because you were using the Force. Fight me like a real woman!”

She moved up beside him and lazily ran her fingers up through his chest hair and along his now bare shoulder. “No.”

Canderous rammed his elbow as hard as he could into the back of her knee, she stumbled forward. He swung around quickly and tackled her from behind, pinning her into the roll-out bedding.

“I could use the Force to lift you off me, if I wanted.”

“The fact that you haven’t tells me something.” his voice dripping menacingly. One hand placed on her upper back to keep her pinned to the bedding, he used the free hand to start rubbing her folds. “I’ll give you what you want, Jedi, if only because you were so insistent.” She relaxed beneath him and hummed out in pleasure.

He had barely begun working before noticing she was already soaking. “You’re that needy, huh?” He inserted a finger. She moaned. He inserted two fingers; she moaned a little louder. Canderous was satisfied at that point that she was ready, and with his cock now erect he was satisfied that he was ready too. “Now you learn how Mandalorians make love.” He rammed his shaft in to its full length, and for a second was overcome by the realisation of what he had willingly given up for the past 2 years.

He shook himself out of his brief reverie and set a punishing pace. Hard. Fast. Irinez moaned with every thrust, gradually becoming louder. He moved his hand to gently shove her face into the bedding. “Quiet, you’ll alert the wildlife” without letting up on his bodily assault. She quietened at his command, though he remained very aware that she could flick him off at any time with the Force if she so chose. If it were even possible, that made him harder still. Before long he felt her clench and tremble underneath him before relaxing, taking slow, deep breaths. She looked as if she had mentally checked out, in her mind she was perhaps somewhere else, or with someone else. Or both, Canderous realised.

He wasn’t finished though. He continued his “strategic advance and retreat” at its rapid, unvaried pace even as the tension built up in his core. He shuddered on release, then relaxed his body down, Jedi still pinned beneath him.

After a few minutes she used the Force as Canderous knew she would, as Irinez said she would, gently rolling him off her onto his side. “Thanks for your service, Canderous.” she intonately particular emphasis on 'service'.

“Happy to serve you any night we’re down here. You know where to find me.” He matched her emphasis.

The following day they ran into Jolee Bindo who insisted on coming with them. Now they were had two Jedi again, and as a bonus, this new one wasn’t preachy. Irinez couldn’t decide if it was a further bonus, or a detraction that he was observant also.

“We’ll find some time together again on Manaan” Irinez murmured in passing to Canderous. She kept a respectable distance from him for the rest of their time in the Shadow Lands, and Canderous knew she was good on her word that she would not develop an emotional attachment to him.

She couldn’t bring herself to kill Freyyr. Not in front of Jolee who was so fond of the old Wook for reasons she couldn’t fathom. They fell a Terentatek and Freyyr took the buried blade to his sons.

Zaalbar sides with Chundarr. Irinez feels pride at his pragmatism – he didn’t let emotions get in the way of achieving the greater good.

She catches up with Carth onboard. "It got a little hairy down there at one stage." She smiled internally at her inside joke.

Carth opens up a little more, about his need to face Saul Karath, about his wife, about how Irinez reminds him of his wife. It should bother Irinez more but it doesn’t. What bothers her is that he rebuffs her advances again. “Not the Jedi way.” “Don’t want to put you at risk.” Blah blah, excuses excuses.

She leaves him on the ship again so that he won’t see anything to taint his impression of her even though she just wants to spend more time with him. She’d sacrifice it now in exchange for more time later – the greater good. He accepts her request for him to stay behind where it’s safe, even though Manaan is probably the safest place in the entire itinery.

Bastila is only too happy to stay behind. She holes herself up in the dorms during the day, and won’t speak to Irinez. Irinez is just fine with that.

Maybe Manaan is not so safe, Irinez thinks as she investigates a murder as a favour to Jolee. To “speed things up” she splits the party. Jolee, Mission and Zaalbar to the Republic Embassy. She’ll handle the hotel with Canderous and HK. They’ll all meet at the ship at the end of the day.

Or rather, Canderous will manhandle her at the hotel, with HK on lookout. Ignus was happy to rent a room to them for a few hours while they “deliberated over the evidence”. It wasn’t like he could generate any other new customers while his hotel remained the scene of an active murder investigation.

“Careful” Canderous muttered, “you heard that Pazaak player mention how thin the walls are in this place.” Irinez doesn’t care about the comfort of random citizens, only that Canderous is comfortable enough to fuck her again.

She picks up one of Canderous’ hands and raises it to her face, taking her time to lick and suck each one suggestively “I guess we’ll just have to put something in my mouth to muffle any cries of pleasure.”

Canderous uses his free hand to start removing pieces of armour before turning his attention to Irinez’ robes. She doesn’t abate. Two fingers in her mouth. Three. She softly moans, but never breaks eye contact.

Although he manages to get out of all of his own clothes with one hand, Canderouse has to take his hand away to remove Irinez’ bra. He pulls her in close, she can feel his erection pressing against her pelvis. She starts rolling her hips so he pulls his hand away from the bra to still her movement. “I don’t think there’s enough time or space in here for a fight. Behave.” He moves her against the wall where his own body weight can hold her lower half against it. The movement lessens but doesn’t disappear as she struggles against him. He leans his upper half back and takes her with him so he can have access to the clasps.

The bra comes away and his hands immediately move to her breasts. Kneeding them. His mouth moves to a nipple. Kissing gently, tongue swirling, sucking lightly. He tweaks the other nipple with his hand before swapping his mouth to give it attention also. Irinez continues to roll her hips, along with her whole body now, but after a few minutes he stops pressing her into the wall. “Kneel.” He commands “And don’t even think of trying to elbow me in the back of the knees, it was your idea to put something in your mouth.”

Irinez takes his cock and treats it like his fingers before, tongue swirling around the head, sucking along its length. She gags a few times trying to swallow him whole but doesn’t stop. She lightly caresses his sack, and puts gentle pressure over his taint. Canderous stands stiff except for his hands running through her hair, giving it an occasional gentle pull back. Wary of the noise level, he remains tight-lipped until his load shoots hot into the back of her throat. He lets out only a small whine as Irinez swallows.

Canderous drops to his knees in front of her and pushes Irinez back onto the floor, even though there’s a perfectly good bed right there. He holds her pelvis down with one hand and spreads her legs with the other, before burying her mouth in her folds, licking away at her clit while working two fingers in and out of her boarding ramp, only pausing briefly to chide her each time she made a noise. “I thought the Jedi had more self-control than that. I managed it.” Eventually she silently bucked her hips forcefully against Canderous’ hand and he retreated.

Irinez used the Force to pull him back on the floor, and began to cuddle.

“I thought this wasn’t getting emotional?” Canderous queries

“It’s not emotional, it’s just nice.” In her mind she’s somewhere else, with a certain someone else, Canderous knows. After a few minutes she leaves for the fresher and gets dressed.

She says nothing else on their way out. The trio are approached by a green Twi’Lek named Senni Vek who insists Irinez has dropped her datapad. As he walks away she gets reads the message about meeting Hulas alone. She hands the datapad to Canderous and HK and only nods once. They return to the ship without her.

Irinez traipses to the Republic base and meets Roland Wann. He’s willing to help them down to the sea floor so long as she retrieves a data module from a droid in the Sith base for her. Irinez doubts the rest of the team even broached this subject, distracted as they were with the murder investigation. While decrypting passcodes she finds evidence of Sunry’s affair and guilt anyway. While interrogating a prisoner she gets a brief flash of memory. A prisoner, being choked to death by someone (her?) without being physically touched. It’s certainly not consistent with her history of being a soldier, but the more she thought about it lately the more her life only seemed certain since she started having visions. Everything before that was a barely-remembered blur.

The terrorist Lorgal goads her before hiding like a coward behind the Republic and their policy of not killing prisoners without a trial. She can’t touch him. He’s so self-assured. She doesn’t touch him. She practices choking him with the Force. It comes easily. The Republic soldiers in the room refuse to even look her way, in a form of complicity.

She gets Sunry acquited after convincing him and Elora to air their dirty laundry. He’s a Republic hero and she won’t let this affair to be used as reason for any sanctions against the Republic, guilty or not.

She rampages through the Sith base with her new team of six. "We have to save Manaan's youth!" she urges as justification. It was fortunate that they found corroborating evidence.

She destroys the kolto manufacturing plant on the sea floor – can’t jeopardise the source of kolto. The Republic’s facility was producing nothing anyway, everyone was back to square one. Almost. Maybe Bastila was right about good deeds, the Selkath now held a begrudging respect in exchange for the respect to their sovereignty demonstrated by the act. Greater good served.

She faced Darth Bandon while on the sea floor. He didn’t even remember Trask. Irinez remembers Trask. She fights the good fight, or rather uses the Force to take away his sanity and that of his Dark Jedi guards for as long as she can focus. Canderous and HK freely shoot at them until only Darth Bandon remains. Her concentration slips, he escapes her mental hold and puts her in a whirlwind of Force. In the time it takes for him to go through the motions Canderous slips his blaster into his personal space and fires several rounds through his upper chest. He slumps to the floor as the whirlwind peters out and Irinez is dumped on her arse. So embarrassing.

On her way off the planet she takes out her embarrassment on Ithorak, and Senni Vek while she’s at it. The power gloves fit well. It’s just too bad no-one in her squad has a use for a poison blade.

When the Ebon Hawk is steady in hyperspace and most of her crew is asleep, Irinez approaches Carth, now alone in the cockpit. He calls her beautiful, she teases in return, he jokes about getting the same kind of attention from a blaster rifle. She offers to do things for him that a blaster rifle never could. It works, briefly. She can see on his face that his mind drifts to align with hers, but then he voices his worry at the danger she puts herself in. He blames the Jedi, that they’ve set her up for a fall because he can’t ever shake of his mistrust of others completely, despite how far he’s come with her help. She’s grateful that he’s moved on from his mistrust of her to wanting to protect her.

Irinez slides a hand under his jacket, and gently pushes him back down into the pilot’s chair. He doesn’t resist. She straddles him, and rocks her hips against his pelvis, feeling his hardening ereciton. She kisses him, and he finally returns her kiss. Deeply, passionately. They run their hands all over each other’s bodies, about to start removing clothes when an alarm rings out.

The Leviathan has them in its tractor beam.

Irinez trusts Canderous and HK to get them out of the cell block. She watches Carth suffer while she waits. It tears her apart. She very nearly gives up the information Saul Karath wants. But she doesn’t. Greater good. Carth respects her for it anyway. Even greater good.

Carth gets his revenge despite the protests of Bastila and Irinez. The women look at each other for a moment while Karath imparts his dying words. Bastila can’t hide the surprise on her face that they’re on the same page, for once.

“Damn you, Saul. Damn you!” Carth cries out. The revenge apparently not the balm to his soul he was expecting it to be. “Bastila – it’s true isn’t it? And… and you knew! You and the whole damn Jedi Council. You knew the whole time!”

Bastila protests weakly but Carth is insistent. Irinez throws her support behind Carth, but really there’s no time. There will only be time once they’re back on the ship.

Malak stops them on the hangar level. He drops what he thinks is a bombshell but he's only confirming what Irinez has come to suspect. She plays along, plays the dutiful Jedi “I understand, Bastila. You had no other choice.” The younger woman loses some of her tension.

They fight. Bastila sacrifices herself for Irinez and Carth to escape but it’s not her Carth, not the man she was alone with in the cockpit the previous day. To be fair, she’s not the woman he was alone with, either.

The crew rally around Irinez as she hopes. She always put their needs first, after all. Carth doesn’t rally. He starts to voice that familiar distrust again. Doesn’t believe she won’t let him down. He’s probably second-guessing the motives behind everything she's ever done at the moment, if he’s smart. He resigns himself to continue the mission, but vows not to let “personal feelings” get in the way. He refuses to talk to her the rest of the time transiting to Korriban. She’s busy enough anyway.

Having the truth confirmed only lifted the lid on the box that was her past life. Vague memories, feelings, motives returned. There was more to be done than simply remain in Republic space, but she had to finish the task here first.

Mission does her best to support her. “It seems to me that if you don't really remember anything about being Revan, then it doesn't really matter anymore. You are who you are now, right?"

“So it doesn’t bother you at all?” Irinez asks, careful not to confirm or deny anything. It doesn’t bother Mission at all.

Irinez left the Hawk without having said anything further to Carth. She takes only Canderous and HK with her. “Too dangerous for the very young or the very old.”

No one asks why Carth isn’t going, even though he has a “need to keep the pilot safe” quip as an excuse if they did.

Irinez marches through Dreshdae with renewed vigour. Everything is vaguely familiar. It feels the closest to home since she started having those visions, which in retrospect was probably where her false identity started. She spurs on the capable Sith, and challenges the weak. Yuthura Ban allows her and her ‘slaves’ to enter the temple to be considered for training. It takes a lot of self-control not to laugh in her face.

The laughter disappears when Belaya fights her. Beyala dies. Irinez remembers Juhani, she's nothing like Bandon. But her team comes first, and her mission comes even more first.

HK stands guard in the hallway on the first night as he did on the ground of Kashyyyk. Canderous eyes Irinez fervently, she doesn’t fail to notice. She manoeuvres him around to sit on the edge of the bed. She straddles him as she had with Carth, grinding her pelvis into his, kissing deeply, passionately. Hands wander over cheeks, through hair, down backs. They shift passionately in their embrace until Canderous can’t take any more.

He picks her up and slams her down onto the bed. “I think you have enough spare robes that you won’t have to explain to anyone why these are torn in the morning.” he snarls before sucking at Irinez’s neck and bearing his weight down on her, erection pushing into her thigh. “And with the screams of the tortured for background noise I think it’s safe to say you can be as loud as you like.”

Irinez grins darkly at him as a wild spark dances behind her eyes. She helps him slide out of his armour, in return he grabs the front of her robes and shoves her roughly against the wall, ripping the front open. He desperately mouths at one breast, pushing the cloth out of the way and tweaking the other nipple in his hand while his other hand finds its way down to her pants and rips those open too, shoving down the front of her undergarments to impatiently find her clit to rub at the same time.

Irinez moans loudly with the pleasure of it all being stimulated at once. Canderous moves his mouth to the other nipple and changes hands. She bucks onto his fingers and cries loudly “Canderous!”

She can’t take much more. Irinez pushes off the wall and drags Canderous down onto the bed, guiding him with her hands to face the other direction. She guides his cock into his mouth as he takes his cue to start licking her clit. She doesn’t last long.

As her mouth slackens around his hard member Canderous pumps his hips up and down – if she wasn’t going to provide an adequate seal with her mouth, then he was going to fuck her throat, damn it! She gags and remembers to resume sucking. He eases off (only a little). After he comes she swallows, and he readjusts his position to occupy the bed right side up, next to her. He doesn’t say anything. She falls asleep.

Over the next week they spend their days focussed on getting enough prestige to gain access to Naga Sadow’s tomb. They spend the evenings focussed on carnal pleasure.

Canderous fucks Irinez hard. Driving down into the bed the bed, slamming her against the wall, pinning her to the floor, holding her over her desk while pulling her hair and slapping her arse. She gets a sense of timing for his preferred pace and shoves back just as hard with every thrust. They cry each other’s names in unison, then fall asleep without so much as a single additional word.

HK stands by the hallway and never makes a comment.

Irinez makes plenty of comments, directed to Canderous during the day. About Carth. About everything she sacrificed for him to throw it back in her face. About him promising to take care of her but when the time came, he didn’t live up to it. About how he was right about never trusting anyone. About how she would love to get her revenge for being cast aside… her comments progressively darken over the week. Canderous isn’t sure how much of it is really Irinez, and how much of it is her reaction to the whispers he can swear he hears coming out of the very stones in the wall.

Irinez wins the right to be taken to the tomb. There was never any doubt. She’d already gutted all of her competitors. They wander through the halls while Uthar prepares. Irinez freezes when she hears Canderous call “Onasi.”

She takes a quick second to shove her anger and desire for revenge away, putting on a kind smile she turns around. “Carth? You should be- Canderous do you know this boy?”

“No, but I took a punt on the family resemblance and it paid off.”

Standing before them was a young man, late teens very likely, who bore a striking resemblance to their pilot. Hair was darker, though. He glared. “Oh? What are friends of Republic soldier Carth Onasi doing in the Sith academy?”

Irinez didn’t feel the need to answer that. “You’re obviously a relative of his, but you’re with the Sith. If I had to guess I’d say you’re his son, Dustil. Walk with me” she commanded.

“You know what? No. I think maybe Master Uthar needs to be updated about this… arrangement.”

Canderous observed a subtle hand movement from Irinez. “Walk with me” she repeated sternly. The boy did. He came to his senses only after reaching her chamber, by which time he was staring down a different chamber – HK’s rifle. He begrudgingly accepted a chair from Canderous before he was under Irinez’ control through the Force again, spilling his hatred of his father for all to see. She felt amused as she allowed his control to return and he only fixed her with a long fierce glare.

“I saw a note about you in Master Uthar’s datapad. You’re a promising young lad. I’ll have to have a chat to him when I see him at the Final Test tomorrow, about your future.”

“What!?” He hissed. “You wouldn’t dare tell him that I was on the side of the Republic!”

“Relax, Dustil. I would dare, but it would be such as waste of your potential that I don’t intend on doing that.” She outlined a plan – kill Malak, then return Carth to Dustil as a gift, to celebrate him becoming her apprentice.

Dustil laughed, and agreed to the proposal. “It’s a pretty safe bet. Either you die trying to kill Lord Malak, or you truly are worthy of replacing him as Lord L’hnnar, in which case I would be honoured to learn from you.”

“Lord Revan.” Irinez corrected him.

Dustil laughed harder “See, now I know Malak is definitely going to kill you, and this conversation will go nowhere – you’re delusional! And with any luck, he’ll kill Father right along with you.”

Irinez sat with no embarrassment. It would sink in for the boy tomorrow evening when Master Uthar surely calls him aside for further discussions about his future. For his part, Canderous shifted nervously. As little respect as he had for Carth personally, he was a brother-in-arms, and betraying him would be an incredible disgrace. His failing loyalty scared him, but not as much as Irinez was starting to scare him.

He couldn’t muster up the enthusiasm for their usual liaison that night. He lay on his back in the bed, half-mast. “Why don’t you ride me? That way you get to set the pace that you want.”

“You’ve gone soft on me, Canderous” she observed. She used the Force to constrict the base of his penis, allowing it to harden. He didn’t care that she’d forgotten his distaste for using the Force when it came to making love… Making love. He’d called it that when they first did it, but it was definitely not that for her. Or at least, no love that she held for him. Now she probably didn't love anyone except herself. But Canderous, oh Canderous knew he’d fallen for her but hard.

She set a pace that was quicker than he preferred, and not as hard. His thoughts drifted back to the Hawk after the Leviathan where he declared without hesitation before everyone “How can you even ask if I will follow you? I'm your man until the end, Revan, no matter how this plays out.” That’s where he found himself. Revan’s man, even if Irinez would never be his woman.

She finished before him, crying out a generic moan, rather than his name as she had on previous evenings, and left for the fresher without another word. His dick went limp. He tried to stroke it to the memory of Veela, but gave up after a disappointingly short while. On his way to the fresher himself he passed Irinez, giving her only a nod. She made no motion of acknowledgement in return. They never discussed it.

With a completed Star Map Irinez strolled back to the waiting pair of Yuthura and Uthar. She lazily twirled her lightsaber in her hand. Yuthura lunged at her in desperation when she realised she’d been poisoned. Irinez held out a nonchalant hand and choked her mid-air. Not deigning to turn on her lightsaber or touch the former Jedi. “As your life escapes you Yuthura I want you to know that you accomplished nothing. Your name will have no meaning to anyone. If only you had actually gone out for the greater good and challenged those slavers like you said you’d do. Then your body would never be left on this ice, to melt into the flowing acid and be lost forever.”

Irinez stared at the corpse for a second, before turning to Uthar. “Shall we move off the ice before it melts? It would be a shame for us to be lost also.”

He had to admit he’d never met a Sith student such as her. There was… something very strange about her that he could not place, but the light of recognition appears the second she gave him the name. Darth Revan. A name that that meant a lot, to a lot of people, in a lot of places, and here behind enemy lines in Korriban it meant respect, support, and safety.

He acknowledged her with an immediate bow. “Go to your destiny, then, my Dark Lord. I shall say nothing of what you have done here. Should you prove victorious and wish to return, then I and all the Sith shall be your servants.”

Smart. If Irinez lost then Malak need never know he pledged loyalty to her. And if she won? Then he didn’t miss his opportunity to ingratiate himself with the new head of the regime. She discussed with him her intention to return after slaying Malak, to take Dustil Onasi as her new apprentice. “I’d appreciate it if you could have a discussion with him about making the best choices for his future. I know you too recognise his potential for greatness. You have my gratitude for fostering that in him.”

She had fewer words about Dustil for Canderous. “If you tell Carth about him, you are dead.”

He didn’t tell.

He didn’t talk to her.

Carth didn’t talk to her either.

They crashed on Lehon. Irinez slaughtered her way through the Rakatan warriors. She slaughtered her way through the rancors. She slaughtered through the Mandalorians. Canderous didn't care, they hunted without honour anyway, using stealth units.

The One agreed to let her into the Temple in exchange for stopping her murderous rampage on his tribe.

She entered with Jolee.

On the summit Bastila challenged her. Jolee begged her to leave with them, but neither woman would stand down. Irinez needled her until it came to blows. Bastila needled back. Irinez stopped the fight with the declaration that she was Revan, the Dark Lord, and Bastila should be bowing down to her instead. To Jolee’s surprise Bastila relented.

“Listen to me... the dark side leads to death and destruction. I've seen the horrors the Sith have unleashed on the galaxy. Turn away from this path.”

Shut up, old man. Your time is over! The age of the Jedi and the Republic is no more! This is the age of Darth Revan and the Sith!” Bastila spat at him

“Don't do this, kid. I don't want to, but I'll fight you if I have to. Even if it costs me my life.”

“But it will cost you your life, Jolee.” Irinez was much calmer “We both know I’m the snake from your little parable. What you failed to include in the tale was that the snake only killed the boy in self-defence. I will not strike at you. Bastila will not strike at you. Not unless you move first.”

“I'm a Jedi... I'll never bow down to the Sith. If you go through with this I have no choice but to do battle against you.”

“You’re too old to bow down without breaking something anyway, Jolee, don’t be foolish.” He threw out a Force wave that knocked Bastila on her arse. Irinez didn’t flinch. “It’s a shame you’ve chosen this path, Jolee. I suspect as a fellow Consular your mind is strong enough that I’d have trouble dominating it. Bastila!” She faced her new apprentice who was returning to her feet. “I won’t hurt Jolee, do you understand?”

“Yes, Lord Revan.” She whirled her twin-bladed sabre towards the old man. He was unable to stand against the ferocity, and fell.

“A shame.” Irinez shrugged before leading Bastila to the beach.

Carth’s initial warm reaction to seeing Bastila faded quickly on the realisation that Jolee was not with them.

“He didn’t make it.” Was all Irinez offered.

Carth pushed for more details which Irinez left for Bastila to fill in to Carth’s horror. “No! We serve the Republic!”

He was never going to listen to the explanation as to how this all served the greater good. She still served the Republic, in the way that all leaders truly serve their people. Who better than her for the Republic to rally under, to face… she couldn’t quite remember, but there was danger out there, she knew it.

“You’re not the woman I love!” He wailed. He pleaded to the rest of the crew to stand against her.

Canderous was the first to re-state his pledge to stick by her no matter what. Zaalbar was too bound to tradition to violate his life debt. There was never any question about HK’s stance on the matter, or even T3’s.

Carth, seeing his only back up was a 14 year old girl, fled, urging her to run before it was too late. But the opportunity had passed. Mission had insisted that Irinez couldn’t kill her, not if she didn’t attack her first. Poor Mission, she hadn’t seen Jolee’s end on the Temple summit to know that the truth wouldn’t protect her.

“Zaalbar. You are capable of acting in the interest of the greater good. I saw this when you sided with Chundaar. You swore a life debt to me.”

“I... I have no choice. The life debt is greater than any single life, it is a solemn vow of all my people. I cannot break it, not even for you. Forgive me, Mission.” He cut her down.

Bastila congratulated Irinez on her ruthlessness. All Canderous could do was echo his earlier pledge. She let Zaalbar run off. A Rakatan warrior approached at her signal, and she passed on a message to The One - a suggestion that Zaalbar would make a worthy feast for the mightiest of his warriors.

The Jedi who fought by Irinez’s side on the Star Forge were fools, but none were so great as to challenge Malak for greatest fool. How could he set up captive Jedi to sustain his life force during the battle without realising that Irinez would use them for herself? Idiot. He was certainly no longer fit to rule. If he redeemed himself in any way, it was in recognising that moments before his death.

She was victorious, and look! She didn’t even have to go down to the planet to hunt for her gift to Dustil, he’d presented himself to her!

“So you killed Darth Malak. Somehow I... I always knew you would.”

“You should still be on the planet, shouldn't you?”

“The Republic fleet picked me up from the planet. I told them of your betrayal... but I also told them I couldn't abandon you. I had to come. I said I'd find a way to save you from yourself, and I will.”

“And how, exactly, do you propose to do that?”

“All you have to do is listen to me. That's all I ask.”

Irinez quietly thanked the Force for Bastila’s arrival. “Carth. I knew I sensed your presence. I should have known you would find a way to meddle in this one last time!”

“Don't interfere, Bastila. This is between me and Revan.”

“You are a fool. Revan has already made her choice, and there is no turning back! Don't listen to him, master! Let me strike him down! Seize your victory!!”

But Bastila’s request was denied as Canderous sauntered up. Carth always hated that self-assured swagger. Canderous was silent. He acknowledged his brother-in-arms brief nod before butting Carth in the back of the head.

As Carth fell to the ground dazed and confused, he could swear he heard his son’s name dropped in the loud discussions being held by the new Lords of the Sith. Nah… probably not. Green and red lightsabre blades flashed to life, and clashed as he lost consciousness.

He awoke in his usual bed in the Ebon Hawk. Mild headache, but otherwise intact. Even his blaster remained in its holster. Recent events quickly flooded back to him. He ran to the cockpit. The ship was silent but for his footfalls. As he reached the transparisteel he could see the tell-tale streaks of hyperspace travel. Sitting in his chair… Darth Revan.

She showed no surprise at his entrance, but turned to face him with a broad, welcoming smile. “It’s okay. You were right.” She stood out of his chair and motioned for him to sit down. He swore internally that he would never trust again, but for the promise he made. Not to Irinez, but to himself that he would follow through on that promise even to his death. Force knows there was nothing else waiting for him. He sat.

“Now, where were we?” She straddled him, and placed a short kiss on his lips. He drew as far back as he could into the seat. “I know. It’s always been hard to trust, but even moreso now. We’re alone Carth. You were right, I did need you as a reason to turn back. If only you could have been with me in the Temple. Say whatever you want. It’s just the two of us.”

“I… I can’t believe it. I…”

“No words, huh? Just a man of action after all.” She kissed him again, and this time he relaxed into it. Slow, soft kisses. He held her tight, not shifting his hands from her sides. She started to rock her pelvis against his. Imperceptibly at first, but ever so gradually increasing in magnitude that Carth hadn’t noticed when he began to join her. He rolled his whole body in synchronicity with hers. 

His arms relaxed. His hands explored her clothed body. He went to remove the robes, then hesitated. “It’s alright,” she cooed “give me your reason to turn my back on the Dark, Carth. Give me everything you have.”

He gradually undressed her without ceasing his kisses, without breaking the rhythm of their shared slow roll.

When she was down to undergarments he stood up, lifting her with him. He lightly returned her to the floor, lips still joined, and shrugged out of his jacket, then his outerwear. He broke off the kiss and embraced her. Head over her shoulder he caught a glimpse of the instrument panel. “Hang on. Where are we going?”

“Korriban” she replied sweetly. He tensed up. She continued. “Dustil is there. With the academy in its current disarray due to changing leadership we’re going to swoop in, pick him up, and head on to Telos.”

He couldn’t believe it. His legs gave way and he slid low into the pilot’s chair. It was too good to be true. He must be dreaming. Any second he was going to wake up on the floor of the Star Forge to two arguing Sith Mistresses and a gruff Mandalorian. He pinched himself. Nothing changed. He stared hopefully at Irinez.

“It’s true. We still have a few hours in transit, and there’s only us. What do you think we should do, flyboy?”

“I’d like to… pick up where we left off… if that’s alright with you.”

“More than alright.”

Lovemaking with Carth was far more bland than with Canderous, for Irinez’s tastes. She had been wet from the power trip of finally having him, sure, but there was no checking on his part to make sure she was ready to receive him before he entered her. He set a slow and gentle pace, resistant to any attempts to speed things up and… did he just sigh? “I love you. I’ve always loved you, right from the moment we met, I just… I wasn’t brave enough to admit that, brave enough to stand by you when I should have. Can you forgive me?”

Ugh, this was not what Irinez wanted to hear right now, but she forced a smile. “Always. I hope you can forgive me, too.” Not that she really cared.

When he finally came, and it felt like a long time coming, she hadn’t. Not that it mattered, she’d milk it out of the Mandalorian currently holed up with Bastila and the droids in the other dorm.

If anything, she felt her resolve strengthen in the disappointment. She lightly stroked his face as he came down from his high. She stared stared intently at him with a gentle smile. “I hope you remember me as I was on Taris.”

He had no words, he only rested his forehead against hers, and nodded. Eventually he moved to the fresher while she dressed in the cockpit. She commed Bastila in the dorms. “Proceed.”

She ambushed him as he was leaving the fresher. His only clothes the new neural disrupter around his neck. Irinez could tell that Canderous was not in the mood to fuck over the unconscious body of his former crewmate, so she ordered him to re-dress the man with HK’s assistance, then dump him in the cargo hold.

She messaged ahead to Uthar Wynn, who was waiting for her at the Dreshdae docking bay with his whole academy. They cheered her return as she disembarked with Bastila. Irinez nodded and politely waved to the crowd as she collected Dustil.

It had ended with Irinez’s most honest of Sith intentions for Dustil.

He was like a step-son to her, in a way. She presented his barely conscious father to him as a gift, neatly wrapped in his unsoiled clothes and topped with that neural disruptor instead of a bow.

The plan had to be altered slightly due to Bastila's survival. She took the woman as her apprentice with a promise to Dustil that he would serve Bastila instead.

Irinez trained Bastila only for a few months before leaving with Canderous and HK for the Unknown Regions, to seek out and hopefully destroy that barely remembered thing which caused her to need to unite the Republic in the first instance. None of her returning memories shed light on what it was, only increased her surity that it needed to be addressed.

Bastila, the new Dark Lord, Darth Inferente, and her apprentice the younger Onasi, Darth Liveo remained to preserve the stability of the Republic under the Sith and the Rule of Two. Always knowing on the day he was finally ready, Dustil would depose of Bastila, and select the one he would train to depose him when they were ready.

Carth, no longer in a collar but detained in the brigg of of Liveo’s flagsip, the Retaliation, long since burned out as a source of amusement for his Dark son, and meeting few sentients to inflict his perpetual mistrust on, was bored. There was nothing to do but think on his life and regret. On days when he was not so full of self-hatered at his failure he would try to remember happier times… but memories of Morgana were long distant and hard to grasp. They were overshadowed by Revan.

So he thought of his days with Irinez on Taris.


End file.
